Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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