I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
