I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
