her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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