i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
thus making me awesome and them whores
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Randomize
