I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
