I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
