I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
