Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
