so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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