Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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