i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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