yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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