k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
two words...techno handjob
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
