It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
