So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
