you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
