Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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