closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
