I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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