You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
