No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
