You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
