The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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