Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
