We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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