Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I need moral support for this bender
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My ass is underappreciated
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
