My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
