We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
