Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
