Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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