You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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