BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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