My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
