So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
drinking out of a sandbucket again
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
