Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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