She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You don't make any sense
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