Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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