dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
