Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
