Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
