I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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