We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
