Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
