is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
