Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
