so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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