I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
