Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
