Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
