So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
