There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
